Be Wise, Take Advice

“Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.” (Proverbs 13:10, NIV)

Have you ever known someone who was always asking for advice, but never taking it? Have you ever been someone who frequently asks for advice, but rarely takes it? There have been times in my life when I was desperate for advice. In those seasons, I drank in wisdom from older, more experienced people who’d already been through whatever I was in the middle of.

There have also been times in my life when I was pretty full of myself. I thought I knew what I was doing and didn’t want advice. When a well-meaning person offered me a word of wisdom, I only pretended to listen. My face was interested and attentive, but my heart was smug and prideful. I can always tell when I start getting this way by how I react to unasked for advice. If I’m annoyed, there’s a good chance I’m complacent and arrogant (even if I’m hiding it well).

What I have discovered, often the hard way, is that most advice has something of value I can take away. There are plenty of times when someone gives me advice I don’t want to hear. In fact, that may be the majority of the advice I’ve received throughout my life! But it’s often when I don’t want to hear it that it has a valuable nugget of wisdom for me.

One of the best pieces of advice I have ever received came from Dr. Green in a class at Moody Theological Seminary. He said (paraphrased), “You will leave Moody with a Master of Divinity–a higher level of theological education than most people you’ll meet. But, don’t think that you know God better than anyone else in your church–you don’t. You may have read books and written papers, but there’s a whole lot more to knowing God than that.  You can learn something from every single person you meet. Never forget that.”

My prayer for this week is that we will each receive some advice with humility and grace.

Does Forgiving Mean Forgetting?

“Forgive and forget.” Or so we’re told. So often we believe that forgiving means forgetting. And, since forgetting about the sin and hurt someone has caused us is darn near impossible, we give up and assume we just can’t forgive. But biblical forgiveness is not forgetting!

It’s Not About the Nail

“Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.” (Proverbs 12:25, NIV)

Do you ever have anxiety? Who doesn’t?!? Chances are there is something worrying you right now, and if there isn’t (praise God!), there probably will be before too long. I have several things keeping me awake at night, ranging from family concerns to decisions that need to be made at the church, and everything in between. As silly as it sounds, one of my biggest sources of anxiety is managing my calendar! Because of my introverted, creative-thinking, absent-minded personality, I easily get so focused on one thing I entirely forget something else I need to do… unless it’s on my calendar. So, making sure it gets on my calendar is something I worry about.

When I see someone else struggling with anxiety, my default response is usually, “Let me help you fix that.” But sometimes that’s not really what they need. As the husband in the video below discovers, sometimes people don’t need a solution–they need a kind word. It’s so much easier sometimes to brainstorm ideas to fix the problem than it is to listen, relate, and say something encouraging. God challenged me with this verse in Proverbs to do less fixing and show more kindness with my words.

My prayer for the week is that you will find an opportunity to cheer someone’s heart through a kind word.


I hope you enjoy this funny little video that reminds us that sometimes we just need to listen and encourage.

Don’t Be a Gossip

“A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.” (Proverbs 11:13, NIV)

Gossip is a sneaky sin, and I don’t think anyone of us is immune to it! Christians are often quick to point out the obvious, flagrant sins in others–pornography, adultery, addiction, etc. Yet, in my experience gossip is one of the most prevalent and widespread sins in the church. In fact, I’ve seen gossip more often in churches than in the world. For some reason, we overlook this dangerous sin in our midst that wreaks havoc and devastation everywhere it exists. We are experts at disguising gossip, at putting lipstick on this pig that invades our lives.

One very common (so common that it’s become the subject of many jokes) form of Christian gossip is prayer requests. “Pray for Susie. Her husband’s being a huge jerk right now. Their marriage is in really bad shape.”

Or it may be offered in the guise of a friendly warning. “Hey, I heard you went out for coffee with Bill. That’s great you’re getting to know him! I just want you to know that his marriage ended because of infidelity. Not that you shouldn’t spend time with him, just go in with your eyes open.”

Gossip is often shared in the context of asking for advice. “Hey, Bill and Susie are struggling with their marriage after Bill almost cheated on her. I really want to help them work through this issue, but I’m not sure what to tell them. Do you have any advice for me?”

In the church, there are structures in place to give us safe people to confide in, ask for prayer, and get advice. These safe people are the elders and pastors. They are spiritually mature leaders who have met the qualifications in Titus 1:5-9 and 1 Timothy 3:2-4. They don’t break confidence but are trustworthy with sensitive information. Their role is to shepherd, pray for, and give wise counsel to those in need.

We should be very careful what we share, when we share it, and with whom. I’ve found Andy Stanley’s definition of gossip to be very helpful in guiding my own conversations over the years.

Gossip is sharing sensitive information with someone who is not part of the problem or the solution.

No matter how good our intentions are, we can fall prey to gossip if we don’t intentionally guard our mouths. My prayer for the week is that the Holy Spirit will nudge you when you’re about to share sensitive information with someone who isn’t part of the problem or the solution, and you’ll realize the sneakiness of this sin which infects us so subtly.

Does a Godly Home Really Guarantee Godly Kids?

Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” But does that really mean that raising kids in a godly home guarantees they’ll grow up to follow Jesus? What about all the kids who were raised well, but walked away from God as adults?

Hold Your Tongue

“When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.” (Proverbs 10:19, NIV)

Have you ever been in a discussion or an argument with someone and you can feel yourself getting close to the line of saying too much? You know if the conversation continues you will end up saying more than you want to, and the outcome of that is almost always sinful.

The temptation to say too much attacks me primarily in two ways: gossip and angry words. Sometimes when Corinne and I argue (yes, we argue, too), I can feel my temper start to rise, and I know if I don’t back out I’m going to say something I will regret later. It’s like I can see myself driving closer and closer to the side of the cliff, and if I don’t turn the wheel, I’ll go right off the edge. I need to stop my words before I get to that point! It’s always better to call a timeout and work through the conflict later after we’ve both cooled off than to keep pushing until we explode.

Gossip, on the other hand, is typically more subtle. It sneaks up on you, and you don’t realize you’re gossiping until you’re in the middle of whatever story you were sharing. Sometimes you don’t recognize the gossip until after the conversation is over, as you reflect on what was shared!

Either way, whether it’s in the form of angry words or gossip, sin is not absent when we flap our jaws too much. It takes the power of the Holy Spirit to keep our tongues in check, and those of us who belong to Jesus have that power dwelling within us. We really have no excuse for allowing our runaway mouths to lead us into sin!

My prayer this week is that God will give us the wisdom and the power to hold our tongues and avoid the sin that comes from talking too much.